Fear: (an uneasy state of mind usually over the
possibility of an anticipated misfortune or trouble.)
This type of FEAR does not necessarily mean to be afraid of something. Rather, it is a reverential awe of God; a reverence for His power and glory.
Fearing the LORD, knowing he has the power over all and glorifying him. I fear the LORD because I know what he can do and have seen it in my life and around me.
There are many forms of fear...
like Fearing the Lord, but also fearing the world, the flesh, and others. The LORD tells us to fear him (which turns into Love for him), but not to fear.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
~Psalm 111:10 KJV~
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
~Proverbs 1:7 KJV~
I wanted to talk about fear, because it was something I had for many years. I was battling a few different things in my life, sins I guess you could say. I prayed daily that God would guide and help me to get over these fears, battles and sins. I asked that if it was the only way for it to be resolved by bringing it to light (out to the open) then so be it. I was starting to get tired of battling, I thought I finally had it resolved (winning the battle so to speak). Many months (close to a year later) went by and I felt the Lord gave me the strength to fight and win, well turned out it came right back into my life. One fear turned into several, and finally came out in the open.
Boy did I fear, not of the sin but the judging, the loss of those close to me. I kept my head held high during this time, I owned up to my sins and the battles i was enduring. Because I knew the Lord was working it out for my good, even if that meant my life would change forever. My biggest fear was losing my dears friends, Because I never confided in anyone for help but God because I knew the judging and the hurt it would cause not to myself but others. What I feared the most happened, I had lost my friends, my FAMILY because it made them look at me different.
I was never a fake christian, I tried my best to keep myself busy for God. So that i would not get caught up in my daily battles. It was my escape so to speak, it helped me out in more then one occasion. I thanked God for the people in my life, for staying strong, for not giving up. I thanked him by serving and helping other when needed, I wanted to give what I could to God. This was almost 2 years ago now. Things are different, but I am still happy, for God has blessed me in many ways.
Though I am sad about my losses and some changes in life, it does not mean I love God any less then I did before. Yes I am more scared of opening up to others or allowing myself to get involved anywhere. But that is something I work on daily with God help, he holds my hand he walks with me through everything. I am sorry to those that were close to me, I NEVER wanted to hurt anyone or cause any strife in their lives. I know God has forgiven me and Iknow shall continue to hit bumps along the way.
But I will keep pushing forward even if it is just the Lord and me, I hope that those dear friends of mine can forgive me and not hold any ill will towards me.